I’m not twenty something. I’m on the verge of turning 30.
From this edge when I look back,
I find nothing on my back which I might say I have earned for lifetime.
Though I see those small piles of unfulfilled desires.
Some cactus of disapprovements and disappointments which keeps getting into my veins through the skins.
I watch the devilish face of the time.
It keeps coming to me to apply the medicine to the wounds it has given to me all this while. It pretends to care, it wants me to heal. But every now and then when I see deep into the eyes of Time, I see the devil it has become for me. I see it’s hand and the nails are still bloodied because of the scratches it has given.
But I wonder, if time too will look deep into my eyes someday, It will see no fear, it will see no wrath. It will never see a broken me. It will see a broken, yet stronger me, always.
I have already travelled half the journey of my life. People I loved most, I ended up losing most of them.
I always wondered what makes a person who once loved me for my goodness and kindness, to hate me eventually. Answer which I could discover is that they don’t hate me, they are just scared of something.
I don’t question their fear as long as they are comfortable with it.
But exactly when I started losing hope and the faith in love, I was reminded. I was reminded that I forgot to love myself and I am already done with the first half of my life.
Today, I love myself and I really do. I love the trivial things about myself. The fear of losing which I don’t even own, the outburst of emotions, the mood swings, minute observations, my insecurities, and every single thing that defines me, I love it.
I almost forgot I can be loved by others.
But, then happened “The Readers”.
Yes, all of you.
You all have raised my level of trust in myself to a different level.
Never knew that the faces I have never seen before, Names to which I was never familiar will sprinkle so much of magical love on me, that’s too when it was most needed and least expected.
Those 500 something followers, feedbacks, likes, taking time out to read what so ever sense or nonsense I write. Yes, this is now what I think I have earned.
Love. Love from all of you.
I thank each one of you for making me believe, I still do exist.
For making me believe in love beyond commitments.
For making me believe in a selfless relationship of mutual interest and enlightenment.
For making me believe in the magic, which is me. 😊