Love Confessions With Gratitude.

I’m not twenty something. I’m on the verge of turning 30.

From this edge when I look back,

I find nothing on my back which I might say I have earned for lifetime. 

Though I see those small piles of unfulfilled desires. 

Some cactus of disapprovements and disappointments which keeps getting into my veins through the skins. 

I watch the devilish face of the time.

It keeps coming to me to apply the medicine to the wounds it has given to me all this while. It pretends to care, it wants me to heal. But every now and then when I see deep into the eyes of Time, I see the devil it has become for me. I see it’s hand and the nails are still bloodied because of the scratches it has given. 

But I wonder, if time too will look deep into my eyes someday, It will see no fear, it will see no wrath. It will never see a broken me. It will see a broken, yet stronger me, always.

I have already travelled half the journey of my life. People I loved most, I ended up losing most of them. 

I always wondered  what makes a person who once loved me for my goodness and kindness, to hate me eventually. Answer which I could discover is that they don’t hate me, they are just scared of something. 

I don’t question their fear as long as they are comfortable with it.

But exactly when I started losing hope and the faith in love, I was reminded. I was reminded that I forgot to love myself and I am already done with the first half of my life.

Today, I love myself and I really do. I love the trivial things about myself. The fear of losing which I don’t even own, the outburst of emotions, the mood swings, minute observations, my insecurities,  and every single thing that defines me, I love it.

I almost forgot I can be loved by others. 

But, then happened “The Readers”. 

Yes, all of you. 

You all have raised my level of trust in myself to a different level.

Never knew that the faces I have never seen before, Names to which I was never familiar will sprinkle so much of magical love on me, that’s too when it was most needed and least expected.

Those 500 something followers, feedbacks, likes, taking time out to read what so ever sense or nonsense I write. Yes, this is now what I think I have earned. 

Love. Love from all of you. 

I thank each one of you for making me believe, I still do exist. 

For making me believe in love beyond commitments.

For making me believe in a selfless relationship of mutual interest and enlightenment.

For making me believe in the magic, which is me. 😊

Much Love,

Anushka

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41 thoughts on “Love Confessions With Gratitude.

      1. I’ve lost everybody who used to be on my life but I am friends (on and off site) with several of my bloggies. To actually know that there are others who have suffered as greatly or even more than we have is comforting. Not the suffering but the understanding and unfettered support.
        I am just so grateful.

        Liked by 1 person

  1. You raise a very good point about people who break relationships. Many times, it’s not so much hate as it is fear.

    If is is you who are turning 30, I hope you have a wonderful birthday, and I hope the decade ahead is full of opportunity, adventure and laughter.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Very much aptly put. Many times it is not so much hate as it is fear.
      Another 15 months to go to turn 30. Almost on the edge. 😊😊
      But I have kept your warm wishes. Thank you so much for the wishes. May you too always be blessed.
      😊

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Very nice of You to be Appreciating Your Friends, my Dear Anushka! And Glad that You have so many.

    Hmmmm, So You are nearing 30! Ah, really Old woman! Haha! And here I am, nearing 70! …Jokes aside, I too have lost practically All my Friends in what I would call ‘real life,’ as apart from the Dear Ones in the Blogging World. But in my case, it has been one of Distance. I moved South. They are Still in the North. And the distance is nearly 2,000 Kms, which is a big deal in India.

    As for Anybody ‘Hating’ me, I think a few, a very few do. But more of my problem is that I have often felt ‘Rejected!’ (Honest confessions!). But much of it was with Reason. I have been Harsh. So I can’t blame anybody!

    Even in Your case, I do think, that if You examine things a bit more Closely, there would be very few who ‘Hate’ You. You Sound a Very Loveable Person! Happy to know You.

    An Important point: I Never bother about Loving Myself. My Attention and Time goes into Loving Others. And Love Comes back to Me. Which, for me, is the Important thing.

    Before I conclude, am Impressed with Your words: “It (Time) will see no fear, it will see no wrath. It will never see a broken me. It will see a broken, yet stronger me, always.” This is Great! Kudos. And Love and Regards. πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I guess I am a little late to the party, but hope to make it up. 😁

    Beautiful post. I loved the sentence where you mentioned that time looking into your eyes and seeing no fear. Just brilliant. Also, I loved the abstract relevance you brought upon the life and reality.

    Great post.

    Keep writing. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Those is so soulful deep words and age is just a matter of number its just the experience of life that counts .This writeup is almost similar to my journey and i learnt the value of relations and found love in writing.Do let us know your birthday for cheering up the occassions.Take care.Keep writing!! πŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thanks, Prashant. I will certainly make sure all my buddies at blogosphere come to know when is my birthday. 😎
      I am not at all allergic to getting good wishes from hundreds of people, that’s too from writers themselves. πŸ˜‰
      Great day to you. Take care !! 😊

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Haahaa…generally F gender always keeps age as secret & you just bang off that myth that’s even more amazing.You deserves more than hundred wishes and have a great day ahead πŸ™‚

        Liked by 1 person

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