It’s been many years of suppressed emotions. Oceans of my love and inferred kindness, as you might call it, had the bed of insecurities. But then, not quite often one would reach the bed of an ocean.
I guess It was barely 13th year of my never ending life till now. I used to announce unofficially to my close pals that the day I write a book of my own, I would name it as ” A Hopeless Hope”. And I have no genuine idea why I wanted it to be named so.
Years passed by. I crossed the roads I didn’t intend to cross. I sang the boring songs along with the co-existing society. Well, I had my fears of letting myself outcasted. People crossed my life. That’s what they do, eh? I let them be.
I, now, look back to my life and I see I’m exactly where I always wanted to be. It can not be where I was destined to be. There always a part of lady in me which did ask for a personal freedom to enjoy the things as and how they occur in front of her. I always asked. I always was a hedonist, by choice or by destiny.
Hedonism, as they say, is about seeking pleasures in life as the moments pass by. But pleasures can be different for each one of us. Any sensation that gets you joy is an Act of pleasure. May be the aroma of a fresh tea. A dustfree blanket or maybe a neatly made bed. I find pleasure in writing too. Or may be sometimes a baby sleep would untangle the cords of thoughts and would let me feel joy all over again. Hedonism doesn’t necessarily deal with the physical pleasures.
You enjoy doing something, you do it. You don’t think about the following consequences. And that gets you the excitement. That is what joy is to you. And that is Hedonism. Simple and plain, isn’t it? Ideally for me, that is from where the whole idea of ‘Carpe Diem: Seize the day’ comes from. You can’t seize a day if it doesn’t gets you the thrill, the excitement, the joy!
I know I’m complete when I’m new everyday. I can’t be new everyday if I don’t really know my sources of Joys. And my sources of Joys are every single moment that life has to offer to me, in it’s mightiest or in it’s insignificant forms.
A person would not change me ever, never did – never will, but my experiences would, hours and moments would do. Clock would keep on ticking, you would keep on acting and I would diagnose you. For I’m not destined to stop. I’m not destined to mourn. I’m not what you think you made me like. I’m what I choose to seek – Hedonism!