I am not good with words as we both would mutually reckon. Still with all the modesty I can collect, I would put a humble effort to write down that I might not be able to confront on a regular day.
Emotions, when they take over, in lack of proper words I scramble down the road of vulnerablity. And rest becomes the history soon. What shall I despise more about myself than my incapability of putting myself in a better position through the thing, I thought, I might someday master – the words.
I have my dreams. I want to lie next to you throughout my life when evening starts to reduce itself to grave dark each day and wake up next to you when early, premature Sun rings the doorbell.
I want us to rest our bums in our comfy chairs and sip the sun and the tea together – every damn morning. I want us to argue and still respect each other. I want us to see places together. I want you to know that in all those moments when I start to believe that we are two pieces belonging to two different jigsaw puzzle, we can still try together and make the best of what we can create from ourselves. It will require dedication and I am ready to put in whatever it takes to make it last with you. Because having met you, I don’t desire of any other human now to survive this life with. It is just you and if not you, I myself will do this life alone.
Now that I’m clear as crystal about not willing to have any other person to wake up next to each morning and have disagreements with – I would rather make the mess with you every noon and clear it up together by night than to have said – if only. I know we don’t make even near perfect couple and we need working on the ground level before we move up the ladder – I solemnly believe we can make it to good if we will really try.
I don’t want to lose you to let us both know what we meant to each other. For a change, I want us to be together and know what we could have missed if we would have given up on each other. I believe we can turn things around if we really want something to happen. I want you to know that you mean something inseparable to me and I can’t even afford to dream even in the blink of my eyes that I could do anything significant without you. And with you even if I do nothing significant, a day is called off joyfully. I need you. We will be good someday.
I have started to believe that it is more than enough of a hope to look forward to future together that things will be better tomorrow, if not best.